Peers and Fears
November 2024
I MUST ADMIT, with all these sophisticated electronic music toys at my disposal, what I do most is noodle around. As in the DAW days, I seem to be incapable of creating a discrete piece of “music” with a start, a middle and an end. Not that noodling is all bad. Sometimes, I can get into a groove or get a nice drone evolving and have a 20-30 minute session that’s enjoyable. Still, without concrete completed compositions, it’s hard to escape the feeling that I’m just … pretending.
I follow people on YouTube who are involved with synthesizers and/or making electronic music. That’s my main source of inspiration. Other than that, I pretty much operate in a vacuum. I don’t have friends or even acquaintances who are into this stuff to the extent I am. Part of that’s on me. I’m a loner. But I also live in an area known more for lawyers than synthesizer dweebs per capita.
At one point in my YouTube explorations, I came across Sarah Belle Reid. She’s a classically trained trumpet player who developed more than a passing interest in synthesizers and electronic/experimental music. So much so, that she eventually created coursework on the subject which she offers online periodically. There is a cost to it, and for a long time, I passed it up. But Sarah makes a point of appealing to people who “just seem to noodle” and “have trouble finishing projects.” Well, that was me. While I typically prefer learning on my own, (you know, the whole “loner” thing) in September 2024, I signed up for Sarah’s Fall 2024 cohort of Learning Sound and Synthesis.
The coursework is in-depth. It starts with the basics (which I thought I had a good handle on) but goes way beyond in many different directions. In addition, each cohort offers several live sessions via Zoom. There’s also a discussion forum where classmates can share knowledge, ideas, techniques and whatever. I was initially diligent about going through the coursework and attending the live sessions. Then, life kind of got in the way. Fortunately, the coursework is self-paced, or I would have already failed. Sarah also allows alumni to participate in future cohorts free of charge, which is generous and great for folks like me who get sidetracked or who just want to revisit a group setting.
One thing I learned quickly is that I am not alone in my failure to complete anything. I’m also not the only “pretender.” There’s even a term for it: Imposter Syndrome. This knowledge gives me some sense of commiseration. Although I still feel like I’m the dumbest guy in class, I reckon I’ll keep plugging along.
As an aside, when Thomas left for college six years ago, I gave him my copy of Reason. I don’t think he ever used it. Maybe I’ll steal it back. I suppose there’s no need to completely ditch one toolset in favor of another.
Below are some people I follow on YouTube who doing interesting things.
Check out Sarah’s Course
